A dark comedy farming game

MeltdownAcres

Farm the most cursed land on Earth.

Marko Halek has bought a farm inside the Zone, where the land costs almost nothing and nobody can quite say why. The soil is wrong. The vegetables are worse. Somebody still has to sell them.

Coming to Steam · Late November 2026
Tell me when it's out Meet the customers ↓
Marko, a young farmer in a grey hoodie and cargo trousers, holding a pitchfork and looking hopeful. Bolik, a small grey goat with a second pair of glowing green eyes above the first, staring.
How it works

The land was cheap.
There was a reason.

An abandoned collective farm, a shed that has seen better decades, and a battered tin of seeds. In soil like this, a crop is ready in minutes. What it does to the person who eats it is another matter.

01

Grow

Clear the ground, plant, water and harvest. Crops come up fast and come up strange: they glow, they hum, they cast a shadow too many.

02

Sell

The supermarkets won't touch it. Load the truck and drive out to the few people who will — each one wants something different, and pays for it in their own way.

03

Watch

Then they take a bite. Every vegetable has its own effect, and you only learn what it is by seeing it happen. Write it down. You'll need it next time.

The farmer

Marko has a plan.
What could grow wrong?

He has optimism, a pitchfork and a goat. He got the land for a song. The land, it turns out, sings back.

Marko cheering with one fist in the air.
The first harvestDelighted
Marko with his mouth open in shock.
The first customerSurprised
Marko sweating, fists clenched, grinning nervously.
The first inspectionPanicked
Marko raising one finger as an idea arrives.
Every time after thatI can work with this
Bolik the goat looking up with all four eyes. Bolik looking guilty, ears down.
The goat

Bolik has
four eyes.

He came with the farm. He follows Marko everywhere, eats things he shouldn't, and is still, underneath it all, a goat.

  • The second pair of eyes blinks on its own schedule, and sometimes looks at things the first pair ignores.
  • They glow a little when he is excited, guilty or about to cause trouble. Usually all three.
  • Loyal, curious and not remotely obedient.
The customers

Someone has to
buy this stuff.

Nobody sensible would. Fortunately, Zemlava has other people.

Baba Milena, an elderly woman in a headscarf leaning on a walking stick.

Baba Milena

The neighbour who never left

Practical, dry and impossible to rattle. Pays little, notices everything, and is the first person to give Marko advice he should take.

Oksana, a woman with glasses and a hair bun, clutching a notebook.

Oksana Vidra

Former teacher, full-time theorist

Pays well for evidence. Anything that looks unnatural interests her. Anything that looks perfectly normal, she finds suspicious.

Chef Viktor, a red-haired, bearded man in a stained apron, holding a wooden spoon.

Chef Viktor Kovac

Runs a supper club. Mostly legal.

Treats every mutation as an ingredient and every dinner as a show. Wants the memorable effects. Draws the line at clearing the room.

Inspector Dmitar, a stern man in a dark suit holding a clipboard.

Inspector Dmitar Petrec

Agricultural inspector

Publicly, he rejects almost everything Marko grows. Privately, he has questions. He would rather nobody saw him at the farm.

From the seed tin

Twenty-six crops.
No instructions.

Every variety does exactly one thing to whoever eats it, and does it every time. Nobody tells you what. A few of what's in the ground:

Honest PotatoEffect: unknown
GlowbeetEffect: unknown
Overshare CabbageEffect: unknown
Second-Shadow SquashEffect: unknown
Static CornEffect: unknown
Calm RadishEffect: unknown
Echo CarrotEffect: unknown
Hunger MelonEffect: unknown
SkybeanEffect: unknown
FogfruitEffect: unknown

The names are a guess, not a promise. Find out by selling one, then keep notes, because the next customer is going to ask what's in it.

The short version

At a glance

Genre
Dark comedy farming and adventure
Platform
Steam, Windows PC
Release
Late November 2026
Players
Single player
Controls
Keyboard and mouse, or a controller
Setting
The Republic of Zemlava, which is entirely made up

The farm is almost ready.

Meltdown Acres comes to Steam in late November 2026. Drop us a line and we'll tell you the day it does.

Tell me when it's out